And slightly melodramatic. A tad. Maybe.
But it's also true. I think this is goodbye.
You see, when I started this blog it was with good intentions. The greatest of intentions.
That's usually how I start things.
But like most things, it did not come to a satisfying end.
I did not succeed with all of my goals and become a perfect person. In fact I don't think I succeeded at one.
Whoops.
But it did teach me some things.
Like:
1) I should really think things through BEFORE I start them a little better.
2) I shouldn't try to blog about 6 billion things in the same space because it makes me frazzled, if no-one else.
3) I love to blog. I love to read people's blogs. And I especially love it when I connect with someone through the blogosphere (dat word!) (and shoutout to http://juddin97.wordpress.com and http://morningadventures.wordpress.com because they are ridiculously awesome people and we found each other and that's cool)
4) I do not know enough about makeup to justify a makeup blog even if I do like blogging about it
5) I do not have a very good fashion sense. (Currently, I'm wearing Greedy Smurf pajama pants that have not left my legs all day even though it's practically midnight)
6) But I
7) This blog is no longer inspiring me
8) And of course, the most important thing of all: I will never be perfect. I will never even be close to perfect. I once heard something like: "Perfect never ends. There will never be perfect because there is always more perfect," and it's true. The things we think are perfect are often deeply flawed and our dreams may be perfect but achieving them certainly isn't.
At my birthday party a few weeks ago, we were playing truth or dare balloons (a highly fun game, look it up) and one of my school "friends" (friends here meaning the term acquaintance who is a little more than that) got the balloon that said: "If there was one thing you could change about your appearance, what would it be?"
And she thought about it for a moment, and then she said: "Nothing, I like myself the way I am,"
And my first reaction was quite negative. And then my brain was all like: "What? That's confidence! You want to be confident!"
And then after thinking about it some more, this is what I realized: Thinking that you are perfect isn't confidence. Not wanting to change anything about yourself isn't confidence. There will always be things I amen't happy with, or even hate. No, I think true confidence is looking at yourself openly, plainly, and happily saying: "This is me. I am flawed. I am imperfect. But I take the good with the bad, and some days it may suck to be me, but other days it will be great. I am who I am, and that is someone unique and someone special,"
I can say that honestly, at least.
So if you take away anything from this flawed, imperfect, and slightly disastrous and rambling blog, take this: You will never be perfect. But that's okay, because being imperfect is much more interesting.
I started this blog with intentions of making adulthood seem a little less scary. Of growing up, if you will. I'm not going to say it was the blog, but I have grown up. I'm sixteen, in reality though in my head I think I'm probably in the middle of my 13th year. Despite that though, something has changed. I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe I've become more relaxed, or maybe more sensitive or more ... something. But being independent doesn't seem so terrifying.
It's been a great time, mostly. And somehow this is harder to say than I thought it would be.
But this is goodbye.
For now, I'll leave this blog up, all the posts about makeup and fashion and things I know nothing about but pretended to, as a sort of memento to my flaws, if you will.
And now it's long and rambling again. Whoops.
Goodbye.
-Angel
P.S. I will be starting a new blog, but this one will be different. It has a set purpose which may or may not interest you, which is rekindling my creative side. If it does, here's a link: A New Imagination.
