PSYCH I'm Still Here

{a cartoon that has more to do with my love of Calvin and Hobbes than it does with the content of this post}

Since I stopped writing this blog, I went back and revisited it a couple many times. Because I really and truly loved writing it, or at least most of it. A thought that's been running through my brain the past few months is the idea of writing as a connection. It connects us to others and to ourselves. Truly good writing makes you feel empathy for characters or ideas. Just reading a good book can teach you things about yourself you wouldn't otherwise know. As Carlos Ruiz Zafon says: “A story is a letter that the author writes to himself, to tell himself things that he would be unable to discover otherwise.” {Don't think I'm getting too pretentious. I read that in lit class.}

I think we discover a lot about ourselves when we reach those points of emotional crisis when we 'don't know what do'. We've all had them. They can be big moments, like deaths or funerals or horrible accidents, or they can be small moments, like liking someone who doesn't like you back, dealing with rejections, or crashing the family car {yeah I did that. Twice.} They all share that same restless, insisting, confused mash of feelings that you must get out somehow. That somehow--through art, music, sports, or, in my case, writing, is your personal outlet. The way you make sense of yourself and the world. An essential part of you that once you know about it, you can use to your advantage {or disadvantage}.

I've been neglecting mine horribly, because I've been busy. Also because I downloaded Monopoly on my iPod and that game is more addicting than Mini Eggs and Mini Eggs are pretty much crack so there you go. But in reality, technology has been rather a battle of mine lately, and I haven't been using it as I should. I should be using it to write. To blog, I realized the other day as I perused The Fledgling Angel for the 30th time since my goodbye post. So that's what I'm doing. Because there are days I really, really, really want to blog about my newest lip stain or my new punk outfit or this new way of doing my hair that actually works. Even though I'm not a beauty fashion or hair blogger. And there are times I need to vent to someone about how certain stupid boys are driving me insane or how it feels to like someone who you haven't seen in practically a year. This blog is perfect for an insane mash of things that make no sense together but somehow reflect me and calm me and allow me to understand myself.

So if you want to read a complete mess of a blog that may contain such things as mascara, flannel shirts, annoying boys, way-too-goodlooking-boys-who-live-far-away, lace up boots, university applications, and graduation worries--look no further! I've got you covered. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I'm off to practice my stupidly hard violin piece which I'm playing in a month and a half in front of a panel of judges in a different province so I can be accepted into a university for music where I may or may not attend.

Angel, over and out.